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Wed, Aug. 17th, 2005, 07:16 pm


OMG...OMG....the thing is...how am I going to get there????????.......who am I gonna take with me????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Tue, Aug. 16th, 2005, 08:36 pm

I'm getting $500 for my medical claim for the car accident. I didn't even want money, but my parents told the claim people, and well she wanted to settled. She offered the 500 hundred, and I said yes. Mom and dad said I should've talked to them first, and then maybe tried to get more, but I'm 19. I have to make these decisions on my own, and if I make a mistake I learn from them. Whiplash can come back and haunt you, I know, but for right now I'm okay.

School starts a week from tomorrow. Thank goodness I finally have some guidance on the choir and voice training. My training class I set up with the teacher, which I kinda figured since it's one-on-one teaching.  So hopefully now I don't have to change my availability for work.

I'm tired.......

Sun, Aug. 14th, 2005, 06:50 pm

It's been a few days since I've updated....that's mostly because life sucks right now.

Yesterday was Richard's memorial. Just when I thought I ran out of tears, 5,000 more came flowing out. I still can't believe he's gone. I think it's hit me hardest too because he's my dad's age, and I just can't see my mom without my dad. Yeah they disagree, argue, but they still love each other. I came home from work today, and everything was fine. One little thing set my dad off, and I went outside. I couldn't stand to see it. I just kept thinking about Ilyce and how she would love to be able to argue with Richard. *sigh* Life sucks....and I can't seem to face it.

Also, I have nothing to do tonight. My show is gone. I'm not waiting for the DVR to kick in and record it....and I don't think I'm gonna make it without that. QAF is my world....but now my world is gone.

I'm gonna go and relax, work tomorrow. School starts in a week and a half. yipee fucking do.


Mon, Aug. 8th, 2005, 07:24 pm
Well today just gets better

I swear to God I have the greatest luck in the world. *sigh*

My dad and I were coming home from running errands, we had just gotten the mail, which I was looking at, when we got rear-ended at the light. It's my dad's car this time, not mine. *sigh*

We were in a line, and we started inching forward then my dad stopped. Well, the lady behind us must've not realized we stopped and hit us. Not once...but TWICE! My head hit the headrest like twice, so now I have whiplash. Thank God not to severe, but it hurts to look down. By the time I realized what happend my dad was already cussing up a storm while getting out of the car. This little old lady(and i know what the hell is it with me and little old ladies?) get's out of the car and was like...I thought you were moving..blah blah blah. There was a fire fighter guy a couple cars back and called the cops for us. The irony was that this happend right by my mom's work. Well, we had groceries in the car, and so after the lady called me sweetie, and was like "oh the damage isn't too bad".....grrrrrr....I ran to get my mom's car.

Oh was she thrilled..............I thought she was gonna pick up the chair in the lobby and throw it out a window...which for her would've been amazing. So got my mom's car...went back over the scene...cops were there...yadda fucking yadda. We look at the damage of my dad's bumper...oh it's bent down...spaces between the frame/bumper....Lady was pointing it out to me...Thank you I can see better than you. Then she asked "are you sure that wasn't there before?" Well I nearly committed bloody murder by this time...and said"NO...we know every dent and scratch.....this was fine." And she's all "me too sweetie...I know my car" Apparantly not...and if she called me sweetie one more time...POW....and then I'd be charged with assult...which I wanted to avoid.

Went to urgent care afterwards...got checked out. Dad then told me that the first thing she said to him was "did you back into me?" Yes...while were trying to move forward my father decided to see how going backwards would be.....

Found out she's two years older than my grandma, so like 83...just lost her husband last week. Yeah, sorry but my friend just lost her husband too, and were not gonna say "oh don't worry about it, we understand"...you hit us..that's all there is too it.

*sigh*...sorry this is so long. But yeah........called into work, I'm gonna ice my neck for the next couple days....it hurts.

Thanks for letting me rant.

Mon, Aug. 8th, 2005, 07:54 am
I can't believe it's over.........

*cries really hard*

OMG....my show...is gone forever. What am I going to do on Sunday nights now????? *sniff* I'm not going to make it...I know it. There's nothing to live for.

I literally started crying during the very last Brian/Justin scene...which by the way was beautiful and well done. I have to say I'm not mad with the ending...it's totally them. They'd never want to sacrafice anything or stop being who they are just so someone will love them. They didn't break up, Justin just went to start a career. A wonderful open ending for the fans....we can decide what happens.

The end with Brian dancing alone, now that is significant. He's finally content, he doesn't need anyone else, he's found his one. *sigh* I love it....

Ted finding Blake again, I knew it would happen. They were destined to be together. I'm glad for Ted. Then Emmett running into a classmate..haha...now that is awesome.

But throughout this whole ending, the best scene had to be Brian with Gus. hahahaha....it's just too cute.

Goodbye QAF, it sucks that your gone. But like everything good things must come to an end.

Wed, Aug. 3rd, 2005, 07:49 pm

It's off to camp I go....yay! I was excited, but with Richard's passing...Ilyece told me to go, but still. I feel like I need to be home in case she needs anything. Were all doing a little better, but it's still hurting.

See you all on Saturday night. And I'll see Aly and Monika tomorrow! ^_^

Mon, Aug. 1st, 2005, 05:42 pm
it's cloudy today

I just got home from hanging out with Carolyn, Lee and Anthony. We had a fun time. Lee and Anthony make such a cute couple....

My mom was sitting in the garage, and I was like "what's up? Why are you waiting for me?" She looks me straight in the eye as I sit down next to her and says "Richard passed away today." I sat there stunned, and I've been crying for the last 30 minutes, everytime I feel like I can stop, I start all over again.

Richard is Ilyece's husband(Ilyece is my mom's best friend. I love her so much, their our extended family), who has been fighting for two months on dialysis, and his liver started shutting down, he got a blood infection from the hospital. They thought last week that he wasn't going to make it. He woke up all of a sudden, and then yesterday he started loosing. It was almost as if he wanted to say goodbye to his wife, and children. His mom and sis made it to see him before he passed away I believe. He passed away at 2:15 this morning. He's been inchoerant for awhile now, not really knowing what was going on around him. Mom said that when Ilyece called to tell her, she said that she was calm. Almost glad he wasn't suffering anymore. My mom felt that way too, I feel it too, but I can't picture him gone. It's a joke to me, but I know it's not. Who's gonna pick on me now? Or wear that shirt that he and my dad both have..accidentally of course. It's gonna be wierd. I never saw him that much, but I always knew he was there, and I talked to him on the phone. But I have to be strong, so that Ilyece will make it through.

If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I'll wake from this dream.............

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping, Hello I'm still here, all that left of yesterday..............

Thu, Jul. 28th, 2005, 08:10 pm

I just finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.......dear God I really don't think I wanna read number 6 the way after I feel about the ending of this one. *sigh*....but I'm so curious. I'll start it tonight. It was an ending I really wasn't expecting, but it answered so much!

I haven't updated in a few days...reason being..work. Yeah..it's always work. I can't wait till my excuse is school...cuz then...oh well it's still keeping me busy. I've worked every day this week except for monday. But I want to make all the money I can before school starts. I'll be cutting my hours quite a bit. argh.....I hate that.

My friend Jeff, the one who's a drag queen at one of our local clubs, his peformance is the night of the Tucson Girls Chorus camp concert. I've asked everyone i know, even my parents, what I should do....and they all said the same thing, go see Jeff. I mean, I'll only miss the family picnic, and final concert. I wanna see Jeff so bad...I met his boyfriend yesterday. Adorable couple they are. oh yes....very cute. Their gonna perform together....*sigh*...it's so cool. What should I do???

Alright...here I go...I'm gonna start Year 6..........

Sun, Jul. 24th, 2005, 09:41 pm

511 rocked my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only two eps left. *cries* How am I gonna live without my QAF??????????????


"You bought this? This palace?"

"For my prince"*gushes madly at this line*


Fri, Jul. 22nd, 2005, 09:36 am

These past couple days have just been...wierd. I don't know how to explain it except...wierd. I don't feel like myself, dad says I'm depressed. But how can I be depressed when I'm on anti-depressants? I should be happy! :D *grumbles*

Work...ah yes, it's been boring and slow, and sometimes fun. It's starting to pick up with school coming up, everyones getting their new clothes. But some of this stuff...hahaha...yeah...I couldn't even picture my grandma in some of this stuff. I just buy denim and sometimes one of the lace layering shirts we have...as long as it's something I would wear I buy it. The 80's track suit look is coming back. It's kinda freaking me out. The 80's didn't exactly have the greatest fashion sense....so yeah..we're going back to that? Dear God help us all.

I was talking with one of my friends at work last night, were both Harry Potter fans, and she said that she's not done with yr 6 yet. I on the other hand...got year 5&6 for my birthday from Alanna. I just finished yr 4. *hangs head in shame* I'm so behind...but what my friend told me about yr 5....I think I'll read slower. I don't know what happens....only that it's sad. Then my hygenist the other day told me that she didn't like the end of yr 6...OMG....I have nothing to look forward to. *sigh* Great...oh great!

Yeah..so I'm gonna go and read more of yr 5.

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